more

Yesterday, Tate lost the privilege of going swimming with Daddy. It was sad really, yet a necessary consequence. My Tate thrives on structure and routine, and during vacation both are on the back burner. Also, the excitement of new adventures just puts the silly bug in his belly. As Chase and I took a walk early this morning, I was reflecting on Tate’s lost privilege and what I want for my children. In one word, I decided I want.….more. More than the ordinary, to build more character in them than what would occur by letting everything “go”.

I am reading a great book by Tim Kimmel, who is an excellent author and father (Raising Kids for True Greatness). Tim’s definition of true greatness is:

grace that demonstrates itself in the attitudes of humility and gratefulness that ultimately lead to the actions of generosity and a servant attitude.

He also puts it this way, “a passionate love for God that demonstrates itself in a unquenchable love and concern for others.”

Kimmel warns that many parents are more concerned, and often equate success, with fame, power, beauty and wealth. He points out that the best things we have to offer in life come from our heart, not our head; from our character, not our charm; from our love, not our looks. I want this for my children, to know that serving others is what it’s all about and our calling from God. I like what Kimmel says:

God has not called us to raise safe kids, He has called us to raise strong ones. He hasn’t called us to raise popular kids; He’s called us to raise spiritually potent ones.

These lessons don’t come from an easy life, a life that doesn’t have trials to figure out along the way. I sometimes tell Tate, “I love you too much to allow you to……” whatever the case may be. However much I want to let something go, I know being a Mommy and helping nurture a young boy into a truly Godly man is an enormous responsibility and something I do not take lightly. So, taking away the privilege of playing at the pool on vacation seems over-the-top to some, but in the bigger picture, I need to keep in mind that we are helping mold his character and hopefully an “others first” attitude.

While I was mulling this idea over (listening to Ginny Owen’s new hymn CD, yes, she has a new CD!!), I remembered a letter written by the late Paul Harvey titled An Open Letter from God. It reminds me that we want our children to have some bumps in the road, and preferably while they are still under our loving wings and can help smooth the way with an eternal perspective. I would be hard-pressed to believe much character could be shaped in a child who is given everything, shielded from all hurts or allowed to behave without restraint. Here is Harvey’s letter:

We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse. For my grandchildren, I'd like better.

I'd really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches. I really would.

I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated.

I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car.

And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.

It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep.

I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.

I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him.

When you want to see a movie and your little brother/sister wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him/her.

I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.

On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.

If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one.

I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.

When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.

I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a boy\girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like.

May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.

I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it. And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not your friend.

I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle.

May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.

I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Hanukah/Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.

These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.

Written with a pen. Sealed with a kiss. I'm here for you. And if I die before you do, I'll go to heaven and wait for you.

Send this to all of your friends. We secure our friends, not by accepting favors, but by doing them.

My prayer for today: God, help me show more of You to my children, my husband and the others You put in my life! I want to have a passionate love for You that demonstrates itself in a unquenchable love and concern for others. Give me and Tyler the wisdom to help grow spiritually potent children and help them work through hiccups along the way with a unwavering faith and strength in You!

CA Family Vaca ‘09

To really capture the true feeling of our first family-of-four vaca, we must go back a few days. Friday morning I started planning and cleaning (I like to come home to a nice house). Friday evening I started packing…it irks Tyler that I start so early. I organize bags of toiletries, get out suitcases, make lists..that is just how my brain works. I hear Tyler say, '”Baaaaabbbbbe, where is the toothpaste??” But what he is really means is, realllllyyy? You packed the bathroom stuff already crazy person (lovingly of course)!

Saturday AM, the house is buzzing with excitement, Tate could hardly wait and with all his pent up energy, he found himself getting into a little bit of trouble every 5 minutes or so. I was going about 100 miles a minute getting everything we needed into piles, yet attempting to keep them light enough to fit into one suitcase (it really chaps my hide that airlines are now charging for luggage). But alas, I was unsuccessful, the one suitcase weighed 56 pounds and needed to be split into two.

Sunday morning we woke to a dreary cloudy day with a light dusting of snow, which made it a bit easier to leave. We so enjoy being home; why leave on vacation when your home is already like your little dream vacation spot, right? Nevertheless, every once in a while, it is also nice to get away and experience new and exciting places. And, thoughts about playing at the beach made the the trek to the airport, lugging luggage through the terminal, schlepping baby seats and preparing travelable food worth the effort.

Here we are waiting in eager anticipation to board the plane.

This was Chase’s first airplane ride and he was his typical superstar self! I would go as far as to say he was un-phased. I made sure to give him sips of milk during take-off to clear his ears, but he didn’t even really notice. He just sat on our laps, played, looked around at his new surroundings and read books. He particularly liked smiling over at the family of kids sitting behind us; we decided it wasn’t rude for him to over-look since he is a baby.

Both boys went without their afternoon nap (and Chase’s morning one was even condensed), so by the time we stepped off the plane in San Diego and Tyler said “half way there” I knew we might hit a few bumps. It had already been a long day and the boys were tired! But I was still optimistic as things were off to a great start. Tate was doing beautifully (he is such a little boy now), playing with his toys, carrying his own backpack and keeping up with his long-legged parents. Giddiness started settling in around the time we were waiting for the rental car. When we finally hit the highway, it was time for Chase to go down to sleep for the night! Pour little guy, I kept handing him little bits of food just to distract him from his tiredness. For some reason, this little guy just won’t let himself fall asleep in the car these days. 

The first order of business was food provisions (Jimbo’s is our favorite health food store in San Diego). We needed baby milk (one very exciting thing about visiting CA is that raw milk is legal to sell in the stores), ingredients for a few meals, sandwiches for dinner and, of course, just real food. Our “lunch” consisted of little snacks that definitely left us wanting. Funny how our systems are so accustomed to our normal fare of real, whole foods...funny, but good.

We were re-energized once we reached the hotel and met up with Grampee and Grandma. What a treat at the end of our long journey. They loved on the kids, helped us get settled in and then off to bed for everyone. With only a few disruptions early on, the first night away from home was good. Both boys are incredibly adaptable, especially considering we travel so little and we are fairly consistent with our routine at home.

After a good nights rest, we were fresh and ready to take on the day! I scrambled up some eggs and blended up a smoothie for breakfast. Tate is being creative with his train “track”.

And Chase and I enjoyed some cuddle-time.

Now I sit and blog while Chase takes his first much-need nap and the boys (Tyler, Tate and Grampee) hit Target for some diapers and sand toys. Chase needs both his naps today, we really overextended him yesterday, but he took it like a champ…my little sweetness of the world.

More fun and excitement to report soon.

Reflections of Mother’s Day

Mother’s day always gets me misty-eyed and weepy. Celebrating this day is a bit multifaceted for me. First, I get to rejoice in the fantastic Moms/Grandmas in my life.

MOM: Thanks for putting up with me, I was a little booger at times growing up, but you always supported and loved me and you helped me become the woman I am today. And now I get the privilege of calling you “friend”.

MIL: I can hardly remember when you weren’t in my life, supporting me and treating me like your own – thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I also get to celebrate being a Mom myself, it is the most amazing experience and what I was meant to be. But more than anything, my heart is bursting with gratefulness and love for two outstanding, extraordinary young women whom I am proud to call our Birthmoms – Catie and Jordan! I would not have had the amazing honor of ever being a Mom if it weren’t for the grace of these two.

I suppose on this day my heart aches a bit as I try to imagine their side of the adoption story, what they willingly gave and the love they have for these two beautiful, adorable, totally outrageously-terrific children. At the same time, I pray daily God overflows their heart with peace and joy with their selfless decision.

Catie and Jordan, the words “thank you” seem too simple to explain how I feel….I am grateful, humbled, honored and overjoyed that you shared these gifts with us. You both know how loved and adored you are, we are forever intertwined and you are part of our forever family. Our cup runneth over! These two treasures - Tate and Chase – are blessings from above. Without your wisdom, sacrifice and courage, we would not be the richest, happiest and proudest of parents.

To all the

Moms in our

lives, we

love you!!!!

Mother’s Day Tea

All week Tate has been reminding me about the Mother’s Day tea at his school on Friday afternoon. Finally the day arrived. After nap, we dressed up and we left for school. There was little snacks and tea. The class also performed two little songs they had been practicing. Then Tate gave me this adorable handmade card with a special plate just for me! What a sweet-pie! Best of all, Tate was happy to sit and pose with me for a few cuddly pictures!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

one of those mommy moments

Tate is a big sweetheart, this we know. But today, he said something extra sweet, one of those things that you never want to forget. Like any other school day, I waited for the class to finish up their circle-time. Tate gets a sticker before he leaves for good behavior. Today was the day he finished his sticker chart, which means he got his pick out of what Ms. Deb calls the treasure box. While I was gathering his things, Tate made his choice.

We were walking to the car when I noticed Tate had chosen a costume pearl necklace. I looked at the necklace and he said, '”Mommy, I picked this necklace for you because you are my treasure and I love you!” I almost started to cry! He said, “now when I am not at home, you can look at your necklace and think of me!”

Here it is my precious gift, that of course I will keep forever and ever!

 

 

 

 

Things Children Need

I just finished reading a small, quite old parenting book titled Seven Things Children Need by John Drescher. More for me than those reading, I wanted to jot down some quotes so I can go back and refer to them on occasion.

“James L. Hymes Jr. suggest that parents should fall in love with their child every day anew just because he is the way he is. The child really lives by love, not by shelter, food or clothing.”

Taken from The Children by Charles M. Dickinson…

They are idols of hearts and of households

   They are angels of God in disguise;

The sunlight still sleeps in their tresses,

   His glory still gleams in their eyes;

These truants from home and from heaven,

   They have made me more manly and mild;

And I know now how Jesus could liken

   The kingdom of God to a child.

 

A Christmas gift for Jesus

OK - I am an official fan of Sally Clarkson! She has such a beautiful way of putting real life into words that touch me down deep...you know, when you read something that just moves you, inspires you to be better, do better! There is something about her honesty and openness that hits me right where it matters. Her post today did it again...moved me that is. A present for Jesus!? Yes, I know about lent, but this idea just hit me differently somehow...what an awesome idea! Yes, worship Christ, give thanks to God for sending his only son to die on the cross for our sins...but to actually giving Him a present, something MORE of myself. Commit to give more of me, more of my actions, more of my time, more of my thoughts, just more. For the first time this year we are going to make a birthday cake for Jesus. Now all I have to do is think of the gift He would like the most from me....what a fun tradition to start with the fam!

Here are some pieces of Sally's post from her blog I Take Joy

Let there be love

"If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging symbol. But now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love."

"Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sin." I Peter 4:8

As I get older, I find I am more and more about giving grace and extending love than about my rules and ideals. Perhaps I see my sin nature more clearly and appreciate His love and forgiveness more. I fail and fall below my own standards so often and yet, he still loves me, answers my prayers, meets with me when I seek Him out and now I know that I can't do without Him. When I was younger, I had more stamina to push toward standards and ideals and make goals and try, by my own strength, to accomplish so much. Now, my plate has never been fuller and my responsibilities are greater, but I know that without His divine intervention, my life would be in shambles.

....

As I have thought about what present I want to give Jesus this year for His birthday, I have thought that perhaps He would be pleased with love from my heart. But not just love for Him, but generous, spilling over, lavish love shown to all precious people he has brought into my life. I have resolved to love those who don't especially love me. I want to send special notes of love to those I appreciate. I want to cover any tension in my family this Christmas with love and grace--for the sake of my great appreciate for His unconditional love.

....

And remember above all, that He loves you. Nothing can separate you from His love. (Romans 8) Jesus loves you and proved it by His humble, sacrificial love, shown even in washing the very feet of his disciples on the night he was going to be killed--always loving, always encouraging, always giving life. He loves you in the same humble, compassionate, encouraging way.

But beyond that, the last words of his High Priestly prayer shows us God's intention for all of us, "I have made your name (God's name)  known and will make it known, so that the love with which you have loved me, Oh God, may be in them (his disciples--in us)  and I in them." God, the Father, loves you with an everlasting love. We love Him because He first loved us! May His heart be pleased with our gift of love this year as we celebrate his birthday with grace, overwhelming joy and peace.

Then, of course, this whole line of thought reminded me of one of my favorite Ginny Owens songs titled I Am Nothing (most all her songs are a healing balm to the soul, but this one is particularly powerful). As many of you know, I am a Ginny groupy!! Check this song out, the below website will allow you to listen to the song for free, believe me, it is worth a listen!

http://www.imeem.com/people/0GyIC9/music/rVlTYO6i/ginny_owens_i_am_nothing/

"Live for Today" Poem

I am reading this fabulous book titled Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow. When I am done, I should just turn around and start again. Not that my heart is gripped with anxiety, I actually am blissfully happy and would go as far to say that besides the occasional parenting challenge or self-inflicted decision stressor, I am pretty free of anxiety most of the time. This book is so much more than "anxiety", it goes deeper into our purpose as Christian women, it encourages me to look at the bigger picture and stay focused on the eternal.

Today's chapter was on staying focused on God's purpose for my life and a poem that Linda quoted stirred up some memories and mommy emotions this morning (and it was written by a 14 year old boy!!!).

It was spring but it was summer I wanted; the warm days and the great outdoors

It was summer but it was fall I wanted; the colorful leaves and the cool dry air.

It was fall but it was winter I wanted; the beautiful snow and the joy of the holiday season.

It was now winter but it was spring I wanted; the warmth and the blossoming of nature.

I was a child but it was adulthood I wanted; the freedom and the respect.

I was twenty but it was thirty I wanted; to be mature and sophisticated.

I was middle-aged but it was twenty I wanted; the youth and the free spirit.

I was retired but it was middle-age that I wanted; the presence of mind without limitations.

My life was over but I never got what I wanted.

I remember when there were days as a newbie mom I would call myself anxious. Tate was screaming and I couldn't figure out why or my new role was confusing and I felt a little alone. Looking back, I realize this was all a learning experience, all part of the journey God planned to bring me closer to Him. One of my favorite Bible verses is Philippines 1:6 "For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus." God will continue to work on me, making me the person He sees that I can be! How awesome - it is a process, I am not perfect, I will never be perfect until I am in heaven, but if I trust in God, if I call on God, he will continue working on me!!

I can't think of a better way to grow closer to God than to raise children. There is no better way to learn to rely more on God, or to learn to show Christ-like love in the mist of every circumstance. 

In those early, new-mommy days, in a unsavory moment I remember thinking, "this too shall pass" and I would immediately think "how sad"! I want to enjoy every second of this journey! I have always said that I am learning more from my kids than I can ever teach them! Growing as a follower of Christ, learning to show Christ to my family every day, in every action, in every moment is a life-long learning process. So I am going to forgive myself for those early struggles and focus on today and strive to forgive myself for more current-day mistakes (oh that is hard for a type-A perfectionist!).

God has brought me to such an awesome place! Do we still have struggles, sure! In fact, as I type my first born is sitting in the spare bedroom working on getting his self control, but how I am able to view the situation is what makes the difference. Now I am better able (better, not perfect mind you) to see struggles as opportunities. Each time I get to train Tate, each time I can show him how to build his character and show him gentleness and love through discipline it is a gift. It will make him a stronger follower and agent of Christ!

No more "this too shall pass" - every event, every smile, every act of disobedience, every "I love you" is all part of the package I don't want to miss a lick of it! I want to live in the moment - sweet or a little sour. Nothing worth doing comes easily and parenting children the way God would have me parent is hard work! But it is worth every little drop of sweat!!! 

Another one of my favorite scripture passages is Hebrews 12:11 "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."

So my prayer for today is, God - train me, discipline me! Teach me to be the mommy these precious treasures need me to be to guide them to be extraordinary men, agents for You! Help me savor every moment of motherhood, even in those rough spots that my flesh would rather not experience. We are learning - all of us, growing more like You!      

Grab joy!

Don't you just love when an author moves you? She or he just says something in a way that touches your heart. I can't say I read Sally Clarkson's blog on a regular basis, or that I have devoured her books (although I have a few of them). But every once in a while I take agander at an entry and when I do, I am blessed. Here is a blurb from a post I read through today I Take Joy:

"As I am writing and researching my book on joy, I am finding that one has to resolve to grab joy, every day, even in the midst of life--to see beauty, to choose to dance, to reach out because He reaches out and He is living through us, to also believe in heaven and hope in future fulfillment and to hold God's hand and receive His love by faith and to keep sowing seeds of love in others so that eventually the seeds will grow fruit. We must tightly hold on to the ideal of community and fight for it, as it is in the community of loving believers where the reality of God is most felt."

How lovely, how eloquent. Community, that is something I feel like I am working on building in our family's little world, but right now it is unique. Everything has its time and each phase of life seems to bring a unique version. In this phase I need to be home, home a lot! I don't mind, but this "building of community" just looks different than it will when the boys are older.

I like what Sally says about her family's experience.

"And now, I also see, that the greatest gift of all in the midst of my family's isolation and moving so much has been that we are the closest of friends.My children didn't have lots of people and so I didn't have much competition! We loved and had fun with each other out of necessity and the end result was that we are friends and love and enjoy each other each day by phone and email, not because we have to, but because we truly enjoy each other and are interested in each other's lives. My children have also experienced this loneliness--not many peers like them in today's world. Yet they are learning to lean into the life God has given to them and they are all best friends! Even after so many years of fussing and tussling--they ended up in love."

Her children are older of course, 24 to 13, but this closeness within her family, brothers and sisters being the closest of friends, is something to ponder and pray about for the future!

Blessings to everyone today!

A bit of mommy guilt

I am sitting here on our couch downstairs feeling a little blue. Tate started his new school today, Our House, a Christian preschool about 5 minutes from home. He is such a big boy, he wasn't even phased that he is attending a different school from last year. He just woke up excited, put on his backpack like a college student and walked right in ready to play.

I know what many of you are thinking, "why are you so bummed out, Tate went to preschool last year?" Yes, yes, but that was two days a week. His program was even longer - 9 to 3. I don't know, I am having more trouble this go around. Well, "more" might be because I am fuzzy on the anxiety I felt a year ago. But this is a new school and he is going 3 days a week. Granted, it is only the morning, 8ish to 12:30. Nevertheless, I can't help but feel like the early years with my first baby at home with me are coming to an end. :( That thought makes me sad.

With that said, Tate so enjoys, craves and dare I say - needs - the stimulation of other kids. I am not a good playmate. Don't get me wrong, I can play Go Fish with the best of 'em and enjoy going down to the creek to cool off my feet like anyone else, but before I can even get through the entire Thomas song with Tate, something has to be done...Chase needs food or a new diaper, dinner needs fixing, whatever...LIFE!

Is it partly because we don't live in a typical neighborhood where Tate can play with friends in our backyard regularly? Maybe. Are these just commonplace feelings that any mom might have taking her child to school? I am not sure. Have I read too many posts and articles about homeschoolers who believe keeping a child home is the best and only way to go!? Or am I putting pressure on myself that I should be able to provide everything Tate needs at home - with crafts, activities, play, etc? These are questions I can't answer. I know I want the best for Tate and maybe have read and talked about all my options a touch too many times.

Bottom line, Tate loves school. He seems to crave the interaction with other kids that I just can't provide at home. If I were a mom who liked to be on the go constantly, I might be able to do a better job of getting him involved in group classes - music, gymnastics, swimming. But alas, I am not. I like to keep things simple, especially with a baby. And don't get me started on how fast Chase is growing, he is 7 months today and on his way to being a toddler.

One of the best pieces of advice my good friend Kathy Lewis gave me a long time ago is to look fresh at each year with each child and decide what is best. Right now, with our little Chaser as young as he is and Tate's needs for stimulation and friendships, I truly believe this is the best for this year. Am I still considering homeschooling? Maybe. Is public school in his future? Perhaps! AHHHHHH.....

Oh yeah, here Tate is as I was getting ready to leave him this morning. Another little boy asked him to play and that was it, he was off.

I leave you (really more for me so I can read it again) with a post from Sally Clarkson's (author and homeschooler) website (I Take Joy). When I read this post this morning, I felt like she was talking just to me!

Too many choices--replaced by love

Last night, around 7:30, I was sitting in a chair by my window up in my second story bedroom. Our home sits up on a hill that is about 7500 feet high, and we look out over tall Colorado pines with the mountains not too far in the distance. As I sat amidst the peace of my darkening room, I looked out on the horizon and across the sky, once again, the Lord had painted the most vibrant sky--luminous, "screaming pink"--(the color of shirts my mother used to love to buy for me!)--seemed to be dancing across the sky for those who would see it! Then fading into hews of orange and finally darkness. I was reminded again how present God is in all of our moments yet wondering how many people in my little town took the time to notice Him and His art.

I was pondering some of the dilemmas of modern, Christian life---way too many choices. Choices scream at us and block out the simplicity of Christ and His love and His voice. We live in a time of so many voices that represent so many choices--republican, democrat, independent; theologies--charismatic, reformed, catholic, baptist, emergent church, Bible church; public, private and homeschool; whole book, curriculum, or classical; pro-Shack people (referring to the book)--anti-shack people; is it acceptable to watch the dark knight or it is sinful --good imagery or poor imagery--dating or not-dating; what movies are acceptable; universalism or  limited atonement; whole foods or MacDonalds,  soccer or piano lessons; t.v. or no media at all; infiltrate culture or draw back and seclude, spanking or grace-based parenting; and on and on and on. And then there is the busy-ness associated with getting it all right and reading all the blogs and books and reviews and making all the choices--frenetic that we might make the wrong choice--yet confused in the midst.

So much wrangling over words and so much judgment and pride and finger pointing--what is the right way to believe? Who is the right authority? Such choice overload obscures the simplicity and presence of God. So many I talk to long to be close to Him, but find Him illusive. No wonder there exists so much shallowness in our culture--we are seeking so hard after the answers and He wants us to seek Him.

Now don't get me wrong, I am orthodox in my beliefs and trust in Jesus for my salvation and am so very grateful for this. But the older I get and the more countries I have seen and the more people I have worked with, the more I see that it is the heart--where love and faith and beauty and humility exist where the life of Christ flourishes. It is in Him and His presence that I find peace that transcends "getting it all right."

I find rest when I ponder the One who took small children into His arms to bless them; who gently and lovingly washed the disciple's feet, who threw the vibrant colors into the sky for me to enjoy last night. Jesus, came in simplicity--not a man of titles or authority--but the authority that comes from within.

I ponder His messages--admonishing us to give cups of cold water; taking care of our enemies as did the good Samaritan; parenting in such a way as to have the heart of the father looking every day for his prodigal son to return; encouraging us to be like the gentle, humble Mary who chose the "good part"--to sit at his feet and rest in his love and be filled with the life of His words--not being like Martha who was "worried about so many things."

It seems His priorities were for us to be anchored in character and deeds of goodness and kindness--the simplicity of being a good neighbor, giving grace and forgiving as we have been forgiven--making bridges of peace--not walls of separation.

Jesus had great scorn and condemnation for the Pharisees who "tie up heavy loads and lay them on men's shoulders," --those who were so dedicated to defining every jot and tittle of the law. Just t his morning, I was reading in Matthew 23:23 where Jesus says to them, "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint and dill and cummin, and have neglected the weightier provisions of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness; but these are the things you should have done without neglecting the others. You blind guides, who strain out a gnat and swallow a camel."

Then I read in John 14 and 15, some of the last chapters recorded of Jesus's personal messages to his disciples. "Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled or let it be fearful."

He comes not to give as the world gives to us--but peace--restful, filling, assuring peace--that keeps us from being troubled or fearful.

There is so much more. But, the God who told us the most important commandments were to love Him and love others, is the gentle shepherd who will not judge us today if we get all the answers and choices right, but if we abide in Him, love Him, rest in Him and walk in the abundance and security of His love for us and His redeeming love for those needy in our lives who need not just answers and words, but love, forgiveness, healing and peace.

Lord, let me today and every day, abide in you, see you, rest against you--"not being concerned with things too difficult for me, but composed, like a weaned child rests against his mother, so will my soul be within me." (Psalm 131)

I am blessed!

Mother's Day makes me ponder the new depths motherhood has taken me. I am privileged beyond words to be the mommy to two wonderful precious treasures - my Tate and my Chase. Being a mom has been the best thing to ever happen to me (besides meeting my husband of course, but more on that on "Husband Day"). Being responsible for little lives is humbling. Tate's laughter and joy sends my heart soaring, and Chase's smiles and sweet cuddles make me want to freeze time.

But being a mom is so much more for me. Over this last year, the idea of losing myself has been such a wonderful learning experience. When Tate came into our lives and I first became a mom, I struggled with the idea of losing myself. I grumbled when I didn't get a full night sleep or when I had to clean the kitchen again. But with time, giving all of myself to my family has become a joy. One verse I have been thinking a lot about this year is Mark 8:35 "For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it." Letting go of what Jen wants has been better than getting everything Jen wanted! Crazy! :)   

Don't get me wrong, there are still challenging moments, but finding joy in even these moments is the trick! Joy doesn't come from circumstances, it comes from Christ! I want to show Christ to my children! Show them the love, joy, peace, patience and gentleness of Christ!

I love what Mary Hollingsworth has to say in her book On Raising Children.

Tiny Teachers

Children are the best teachers in the world. They teach young women how to be mothers and young men how to be fathers. They teach older men and women how to be grandparents. They even teach other children how to be brothers and sisters.

Think about all the skills children teach people. They teach moms how to be nurses and dads how to be heroes. They teach brothers and sisters how to share…..toys, rooms, dreams, and cookies. They even teach teachers how to teach in creative and fun ways.

Children teach the world how to love. They have us to look past a person’s skin color right to his or her heart. They teach us how to be honest, open and innocent. And they teach us how to hug and laugh and be enthusiastic.

Children make us keep our promises because they never forget one that we make. They even make us into scientists and professors by asking “Why?” about everything that moves and many things that don’t.

Isn’t it interesting that while we are teaching our children to be adults, they are teaching us how to be children? That’s especially important when we remember that Jesus said, “Let the little children come to be, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these” (Matthew 19:14)

I also can't say enough about all the wonderful Moms in my life! Of course there is my mom, thanks for all your love and support over the years mom! I am privileged to call you my Mom and friend. My MIL has also been an influence in my life even before I married Tyler. Thanks for all your sage child-rearing and homemaking wisdom. I may not agree with you every time, but I always learn from your experiences! My step-mom Kathleen is another awesome mom that I am grateful for. Thanks for being such an engaged grandma, your perspective on children always inspires me to be more playful. All three of you are all amazing Grandmas; we are blessed beyond measure!

   

Last, but definitely in no way shape or form least, are our son's birth-moms Catie and Jordan. Without these wonderful ladies, I would not have the awesome blessing of being a mommy. You know how I feel about you, but let me remind you both from the bottom of my heart, I treasure you and love you forever. I can't help crying every time I think about the decisions you have made for these little lambs of ours. God doesn't make mistakes! You both are heroes to me!